It is impossible to follow up on last week's blog post about Janet and Arthur's inspiring trip to Amsterdam. I felt tempted to hang up my blog-writing clogs after the overwhelming response I received from both my own followers, and Janet and Arthur's extensive fan club. I decided to take on the challenge and deal with the reality that any topic would pale in comparison to the story I told about their unique brand of Cohen courage. So I will soldier on, knowing full well that this will feel like a let-down to most of you, including me. I decided to take on a topic that many of you have asked about at one point or another: Amsterdam's twin evils - or "goods", depending on your mindset - prostitutes and weed. Note to parents of my former students: you may not want your kids to read this one. I'll leave that decision to you.

I remember summer evenings where I grew up in Trenton, N.J. We all invaded our neighbor's backyard because it was big and flat. Once we were all assembled, we played round after round of a game called Red Light, Green Light. The way I remember the rules of the game, the person who was "it" turned their back on the rest of us who lined up at the edge of the field. Then the "it" shouted, "Green light!"; we ran like hell until the "it" person called out "Red Light" and we all put on the brakes. And then as soon as we heard "Green Light" again, we ran like hell once more. The winner was the person who tapped the "it" person first. This game was the perfect outlet for my competitive spirit, and I can remember the thrill of waiting to hear whether it would be a red or a green light. If you are wondering what that game has to do with Amsterdam, you can now relax. I imagine many visitors to Amsterdam experience the thrill I got from playing Red light/Green Light when they take a proper thrill-tour of Amsterdam: through the Red Light District and the coffeeshops.

This is the Oude Kerk, or Old Church, built in the 13th century and the oldest building in the city. It's conveniently located in the Red Light District, so you can head right over and atone for your sins immediately. — This is the *Oude Kerk*, or Old Church, built in the 13th century and the oldest building in the city. It's conveniently located in the *Red Light District*, so you can head right over and atone for your sins immediately.

As any self-respecting writer knows, you need to do your research. With that in mind, I signed up last April for the American Women's Club Tour of the Red Light District. I did find it somewhat incongruous that a bunch of American ladies, most of a certain age, with some husbands in tow were touring this area, trying to catch a glimpse of the ladies of the night. I'd like to note that the tour guide knew her audience well and pointed out a few important sites she might otherwise have neglected to mention with other Red Light tourists, like the best Thai restaurant (Little Bird) or a great little spot for tapas (Centra). I was way more excited about those tips than I was about taking in the other "hot" spots in the area. But I didn't want to lose the group and find myself lost in the narrow, twisted streets clogged with tourists. In fact, our tour guide told us that the more tucked away the alley, the better. Apparently, the prime real estate in this area is a window hidden from the crowds. That way, you can sneak in without being seen. In addition to buying a lady, you can also shop for other exotica/erotica.

Just so much window shopping to do here!

And so colorful!

I'll share a little of the history I learned. Prostitution has been around in Amsterdam at least since the good ol' days of the Middle Ages. However, it has only been legal in the Netherlands since 2000. Prior to that, it was tolerated but not legal (more on that famous toleration later when we get into the "green light" section of the blog about marijuana). It's regulated by the city, and the police do indeed respond if a Red Light woman calls and is in danger. In 2013, the minimum legal age for a prostitute was raised from 18 to 21. The most famous form of prostitution here is "window prostitution". There is an unwritten but oft-repeated rule about not taking photographs of the ladies in the red light windows. When we came to look for an apartment in April 2014, we walked home after dinner with a work colleague of Peter's. As the two of them chatted, I took in the sights, and suddenly noticed some ladies sitting in the windows. I was afraid to even look. But from the corner of my eye, it appeared that they were all staring down at the ground. They're sad, I thought. Or maybe just bored. When we were at a safe distance across the street, I finally looked carefully, and saw they were not in fact looking at the ground. Rather, each one was staring intently at the screen of a phone. So even the gals in the Red Light District are addicted to their phones. And they want their personal space, at least when it comes to passersby with iPhone cameras.

Recently, I went on a boat ride along the canals, thanks to a friend who owns a boat. She circled back so I could snap this photo. "Come on", the other friends in the boat prodded me. "This is the only time you can get a photo." Still, although I ha… — Recently, I went on a boat ride along the canals, thanks to a friend who owns a boat. She circled back so I could snap this photo. "Come on", the other friends in the boat prodded me. "This is the only time you can get a photo." Still, although I had the chance, I felt strange about invading the privacy of those ladies. If you look carefully - and you care enough - you can see two spots of fluorescent orange two doors to the left of the kid in the red jacket. Yup, that's her. This photo shows how life goes on, around and about the prostitution. In fact, right next door to these red light windows is a great place for coffee, *Quartier Putain*. My friend Cristina, who speaks a lot of languages fluently, including French, told me *putain* is a not-nice word in French that means prostitute. At *Quartier Putain* they make really excellent coffee and have a real juke box, which sort of works, with American classics and Suzanne Vine favorites like *Dock of the Bay* and *We are Family.*

I do find it somehow inconsistent with the famous Amsterdam celebration of individuality and personal freedom that everyone here respects the rule against photography. Somehow, no one finds it just a wee bit ironic that women can have the freedom to work their bodies, but people walking by don't have the freedom to pull out their cameras. However, I'm all in favor of at least one place in the city where tourists aren't going selfie-crazy. And I certainly don't want to test the logic of the photography ban by having someone smash my iPhone or throw it in a canal.

Like any good business endeavor, even the Red Light District has at least one satellite office. There is a substantial Red Light branch office in the neighborhood called de Pijp. It is situated along a canal, right across from a large Montessori school. Now that's what I call an education! I wonder what the conversations are like between parents and children as they pass by the ladies in the windows at drop off and pick up time. Or maybe they just ignore what they see and talk about homework and recess. I do feel like I, too, have started to pay less attention than I did when we first moved here. You become a bit blasé, I guess. Perhaps that's what happens even to curious ten-year-olds. It's just all a part of the background at some point. When we took the tour of the Red Light District, I peeked into not just the windows with the red lights, but into people's homes. There I saw families crowded around the dinner table, or kids doing homework. It's just the way things work here. You do your thing, and other people do theirs. And sometimes before they do their thing, they sit in a window in their underwear. No big deal.

And catty-corner from the school, here's a different sort of school. The "classrooms" are the ones with the red awnings.

Just getting the chance to include the song Bad Girls made this topic worth writing about.

Now that we have toured the "red" part of the city, it's time to learn a little about the "green". Most tourists know that you go to a place called a coffeeshop not to buy coffee, but to sample some marijuana. What they don't know is that smoking weed is not legal in Amsterdam. It's "tolerated". The word in Dutch for this is gedogen. The Dutch government does not enforce the laws against it. But the government goes further than just allow it. They have set up some regulations, like you must be over the age of eighteen, you can only buy small amounts, and you can only smoke in places designated for smoking. There are laws about how far away from schools coffeeshops must be, but apparently - as I previously described - it's O.K. to look out of your physics classroom and see a lady bathed in the glow of red lights. Although many people think it's illegal to smoke outside, that is not the case. You are permitted to smoke outside as long as doing so doesn't create a nuisance to anyone else. One man's nuisance is another man's nirvana, but somehow it all works here, I guess. You also can't purchase marijuana on the street, only in coffeeshops. So enjoy yourself in one of the approximately 250 coffeeshops, but you can't order alcohol to go along with your weed. Or, in most places, any food either. I love this informational video that Ben sent me. It is geared towards tourists, 35% of whom visit a coffeeshop during their stay. During the busy Christmas to New Year's "high" season (sorry, couldn't resist), I saw firsthand the difference between the American way of handling drug use and the Amsterdam way. There were large electronic billboards warning tourists not to buy drugs on the street. Several tourists had died and others were in the hospital due to street drug use. I appreciated the honesty and the bluntness of the information. There's a matter-of-factness about drug use and a focus on avoiding injury and death that we could learn from.

You can, however, choose your weed from an extensive and extensively descriptive menu at the coffeeshops. For example, at a spot called Dampkring, you can order something called g13 amnesia with a "full sweet" smell, a "strong, full, and fruity" taste, which will land you with a "very clear body high". Anything with the word "amnesia" in the description can't be good for a gal who already struggles to remember names and passwords. And at Barney's, one of the most-visited and well-loved coffeeshops, located in a 500-year-old building, you can get the party started early. They proudly proclaim on their website, "Open every morning at 7:00 AM so you can start your day the right way." Several months after we moved here, a group of lost-looking and slightly disheveled young men asked me where the nearest coffeeshop was. Since they looked like they could use a good strong cup of coffee, I wasn't sure what type of shop they meant. I had no idea at the time that coffeeshops opened so early. Luckily, before directing them to the local spot for coffee and a croissant, I was able to ascertain that they had other ideas and I gave them directions to the closest place I knew. I have heard that native Amsterdammers don't take part in the coffeeshop culture much. I'm not sure if that is correct. I do know that most of the folks I see (or rather smell) in Vondelpark, or coming out of the coffeeshops, are tourists. At some times of the year, the city overflows with bachelorette and bachelor parties, groups of happy British, Spanish or Italian young people coming to Amsterdam for that last fling before adulthood takes over, or at least until the next friend's wedding.

Here's the cozy (or as the Dutch would say gezellig) interior of Barney's. The photo is pulled from the Barney's website. I swear. — Here's the cozy (or as the Dutch would say *gezellig)* interior of Barney's. The photo is pulled from the *Barney's* website. I swear.

Just thought I'd mention  that Amsterdam has a great assortment of places to get High Tea, like this one at De Bakkerswinkel, smack dab in the middle of the Red Light District. Rachel and I treated ourselves to a delicious spread when she … — Just thought I'd mention that Amsterdam has a great assortment of places to get High Tea, like this one at De Bakkerswinkel, smack dab in the middle of the *Red Light District*. Rachel and I treated ourselves to a delicious spread when she visited in May. This is the kind of "high" tea I favor these days, although Rachel may have other ideas of what a proper high tea entails when her Maplewood friends come to visit in December.

Actually, the Drucker-Vine family now has a proud association with marijuana, since Ben is gainfully employed as a software engineer by a medical marijuana delivery system called Eaze. They have risen to fame with their nickname: the Uber of weed. When Rachel heard the news in July about her brother's new job, she posted the following on Facebook:

To be clear, I haven't suddenly turned into a stay-out-all-night owl (or for my high school friends reading this, reverted back to one). On the other hand, I have come to see that the tolerant policy towards "soft" drugs here may be where the U.S. is or should be heading. Why not be able to walk into a place where you can sit down and relax, like you would in a bar with a beer, except it's a coffeeshop? When people overindulge at a coffeeshop, I suspect they go home and fall sound asleep. They don't go out into the streets breaking bottles and leaving other unpleasant evidence of their fun on the sidewalks. And I can't help thinking about friends who really could use the medical marijuana. Why is it so darn hard for them to get some relief? My father, a famous - at least to us - doctor in Trenton, N.J. had the following philosophy: everything in moderation. So wise! I even came across my dad's wisdom in my Dutch textbook. "Geniet, maar met mate" ("Enjoy, but with moderation."). Dad would have been delighted that the Dutch agree with him.

When it comes to my own adventures here, I haven't taken advantage of all the red light and green lights in Amsterdam. It's like the amusement park rides pictured at the start of this post: things that are unbelievably fun for others, but that I'm content to do without. Since I have been thinking lately about all the old bands and singers who are touring around in their twilight years, this made me think about the Hall and Oates song, I Can't Go for That. Lo and behold, I found this remake of the song with Cee Lo Green and it is "live from Daryl's House". Who is Daryl, I wondered, until I listened carefully and realized Daryl sounded pretty good. Then I realized that "Daryl" was in fact Daryl Hall, the original singer from my high school days. "I'll do anything that you want me to do, but I can't go for that. No can do." And yes, Mr. Hall and Mr. Oates, I feel the same way about some of the options here in Amsterdam: no can do!

Here are some things I can "go for" and have gone for in Amsterdam: 1. Biking in a dress and grown-up shoes just like the Dutch ladies; 2. Pulling up to a restaurant in a boat - with dogs on deck - and getting served boat-side. Fun! 3. Riding bikes to the fishing village of Marken (about 50 kilometers - 31 miles - round trip on my creaky Dutch bike with Ben and snapping this photo of him with a don't-you-dare-mom face as I looked longingly at the photo op with cut-out faces just behind him; 4. Seizing the photo-op at Muiderslot Castle when I had no one in tow who could possibly be embarrassed by me. Oh, right. Peter and my friends Darlene and Rob were there. Come to think of it, they did look embarrassed - both by and for me.

My idea of a wild night these days has changed somewhat since my olden days. These days, it's defined as dinner at home, a friend's house, or at a nice restaurant with - if I really want to paint the town red - time afterwards to watch a quick episode of some American T.V. with Peter and my knitting before nodding off to sleep. However, I do appreciate the idea that there is a wild side of Amsterdam just outside my front door where others can stimulate their five senses. It just doesn't have to involve me. Last week, I started reading a terrific history of the city of Amsterdam by Russell Shorto - Amsterdam: a History of the World's Most Liberal City. I love how he describes the craziness: "So yes: a crazy place, where you might think the sky would be perennially in danger of falling from the sheer weight of mayhem. And yet, most parts of the city have such a blanket of conventional calm on them, such an utter paucity of craziness, that one might think the only drug consumption in the vicinity was some kind of middle-class sedative." Yes! I'll get my red light/green light excitement flowing with a bike ride through the streets of Amsterdam. Believe me, that's thrilling enough for me these days. Then again, you might be able to persuade me to come with you. Just to observe, of course....

Here is the sweater I made during my first year in Amsterdam. And no, it's not just the perspective: it's huge. It's more of a dress than a sweater. Or it's a sweater-blanket. Maybe it's my "blanket of conventional calm" like in Shorto's Amster… — Here is the sweater I made during my first year in Amsterdam. And no, it's not just the perspective: it's huge. It's more of a dress than a sweater. Or it's a sweater-blanket. Maybe it's my "blanket of conventional calm" like in Shorto's *Amsterdam* book. I like to think of it as a symbol of my first year in Amsterdam: it didn't quite go according to plan, it took its own meandering path, but it's done and I'm proud of it.

And with colors like these around this Fall, who needs any other thrills?

Spotted in Amsterdam a week after the Cohens left: the first pickle store in Amsterdam. Was it just a coincidence that I ran into a pickle store for the first time right after my pickling friends were here? Medicinal pickles to go with your mar… — Spotted in Amsterdam a week after the Cohens left: the first pickle store in Amsterdam. Was it just a coincidence that I ran into a pickle store for the first time right after my pickling friends were here? Medicinal pickles to go with your marijuana, anyone? Arthur and Janet: this one's for you!